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I started thinking about the media and asking myself what qualities I was actually attracted to in a man, specifically my boyfriend, versus what qualities I'd been taught to find attractive.Part of me used to envy how soft, straight, and blond his hair was.Although I am a black woman in an interracial relationship, I only gave Baker's piece a cursory glance at first. "A lot of people aren't bothered by interracial relationships, but, on the flip side, many people still are.

One of the most difficult parts about being in an interracial relationship is the fact that I started to question things I never I questioned before.

As a young woman of color, I can attest to the fact that many people in this world feel it is their duty — no, their God-given right — to decide what is best for me, and especially whom is best for me to date.

For instance, I felt the need to defend my relationships to my mother who, like Baker’s mother, wondered when her daughter would bring home someone who looked more Michael B. My mother will resent me for saying this, but I know there is a part of her that wanted to see me settle down with someone black, someone who looked like me.

But then something happened: people started talking to me, flirting even.

Once I escaped the small, isolated microcosm of Upstate New York, I met people who didn't think of me just based off of my skin color.

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