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Some said that they used text messaging because they didn’t want to see their former partner hurt, while others wished to avoid facing anger or physical retaliation.

Others said that they had never broken up with someone this way themselves, but have some sympathy for people who take this approach. But if it's something like they're having just general relationship issues or they're not interested in each other anymore, it's way too impersonal to do it like on video or on your phone. I think it’s kind of lesser and slightly disrespectful to do it through text, but I understand why, because it does take a lot to, like, go up to someone and say that you’re breaking up with them and to see their reaction.

In our focus groups, teens discussed some of the potential negative effects of documenting their romantic relationships on social media, which ranged from increased drama to a general loss of privacy.

A lot of people kind of don’t like it on social media because it doesn’t need to be on there.

I don’t know about other people, but for me, like, I personally hate hurting people and seeing them getting sad because of something I did to hurt them. So I guess that’s why lots of people just keep it to text.

Especially, like, it’s something different if you’re doing it over direct message. It’s something different if you’re doing it straight over a mention with, like, a picture or something.

So I think he says more stuff, like how he feels through text. If I’m in a relationship or something, my girl, she won’t check my Instagram. She sees, like someone commented on it two hours ago...

As mobile devices have made it easy to check in from a wide range of locations throughout the day, many teens now want to communicate with their romantic partner on a daily – and in some cases, hourly – basis. Or somebody’s like ‘I miss you.’ [And then she asks] ‘Who is this girl?

But even as text messaging and social media play a pronounced role in all other aspects of teen life, teens feel strongly that an in-person conversation -- or at worst, a phone call -- is the most socially acceptable way to break up with someone.

Teens in our focus groups generally agreed that breaking up with a partner over text messaging or social media illustrates a lack of maturity on the part of the person who is ending the relationship.




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