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You might think you’re pretty good in bed, but if you’re someone who often wonders just how well you compare to others during sex, now you can check those crippling insecurities with Passion!This app measures how well you perform during sex and gives you a rating from 0-10, ten being the highest, zero being very depressing.You can then send them voice messages and videos of yourself, which to be honest will probably be used for more sinful than heavenly reasons really.You want to use Tinder, but you’re too busy, and you’re loaded (it is the perfect time of year for it with revision and student loans…). Aimed at rich single men with little free time to spare, Personal Dating Assistants provides an online profile management and ghostwriting service for dating profiles.Apparently boasting hundreds of members at universities across the UK, skint students can sign up to be “sugar babies” to either “sugar mamas” or “sugar daddies”.In exchange for a relationship (80% of Seeking Arrangement dates involve sex, but the founder Brandon Wade denies it’s a form of prostitution), cash-strapped sugar babies are lavished with gifts and cash allowances which average at £5,000 a month. If you have trouble with giving out satisfying oral sex, you should probably lick your phone instead.What if you’re not rich enough for Seeking Arrangement or Personal Dating Assistants, but still want to bribe your way to a date. “Online dating is a superficial game” says Carrot Dating, but promises “With Carrot Dating, you won’t get rejected before you even get a chance.Convince singles that spending time with you is worth it by making them an offer that they simply cannot refuse” It’s like The Godfather – but you know, for lonely, desperate creeps.

The main problem with the app is that joining the mile high club is probably a lot better as a fantasy than a reality – in reality your flight will just be full of hungover dehydrated adults, the occasional screeching stag or hen, and screaming children, which isn’t exactly the best pool to pick from. The app boasts that it will help you “bribe your way to a date”, by letting people exchange a bouquet of flowers, a romantic dinner, a shopping trip, or an outdoor adventure in exchange for a first date.Maybe not Cary Grant, David Beckham or Tony Stark …but you’ve got your act together.” Seeking Arrangement deserves to be on this list purely because it’s one of the creepiest and most lucrative dating sites out there.Then you can go online afterwards and see how well you did against the rest of the world – who needs pillow talk anyway?Do you spend most of your free time staring daggers at the “in a relationship” status on your one-true-love’s Facebook?




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