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Item Description: Normal garden slugs, whose trail has the exact same chemical composition and taste as commercial-brand ranch dressing.

They also appear to reproduce by binary fission every week.

Item Description: Glass paperweight which constantly floats exactly seven (7) centimeters above any given surface. Item Description: A drinking glass that visually appears to be able to hold a pint (568 ml) of fluid, but overflows when more than 35 ml is poured into it.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: ██████ Funeral Home in █████████, ██ Current Status: Shattered in bizarre acapella accident. Date of Recovery: ██-██-1998 Location of Recovery: ████████, Illinois Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A painting (possibly a landscape, records are unclear) that gave a mild case of diaphragmatic spasms, or hiccups, to anyone who saw it.

Item Description: A 76-centimeter-tall statue of a clown.

It emits no radiation, sound, or force, and the explosion pattern changes every shake.

Aftereffects such as radioactive snow and black rain have been observed.

Any liquid drunk from glass reported to taste like P████ brand cola.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Site-19 Current Status: Destroyed after being dropped by canteen worker █████ ███████.

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