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When he'd leave a message on her home line, Laura waited at least a day to call back. The waiting game lets you test his willingness to pursue, adds Ellen Kreidman, Ph D, author of The game plan: When you date a guy you dig and get that urge to share your personal experiences, opinions, history...stop!Early-stage TMI is a major turn-off for most males.

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A man who asks you to ask the waitress for another soda for him?

The alternative to this bullshit is, of course, to go ahead and text first. You end up looking desperate, lonely, obsessed, cat-lady-like, too eager, impatient, stalker-esk? If the date goes well, you would expect the texting to increase from this point. They’re considered “traditional” and “old school.” But, perhaps you did go on a date with a “traditional man” and mind games are now commencing. These gentlemen may be more inclined to calling, which means you can simply re-read this article and replace to get the same point. I don’t have THE answer to this problem, because the answer actually changes depending on the connection, your emotional status, and your expectations prior to and after the date. Or, perhaps the romance movies are NOT bullshitting us and the right one will text at the right time.

What complicates matters more are pre-existing patterns, modern gender roles, and generational differences. A man who’s self-confidence equals or may even overshadow my own.

"Men feel disoriented when you disclose intimate details too soon," says Kreidman.

"You think you're bonding, but he thinks you're an open book to everyone." What you censor — about your exes, family, friends, even your schedule — can be more powerful than what you reveal.




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