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It feels like I’m already being told that I’m lazy. Those range from nine minutes a day to one hour and 51 minutes over the last nine days.

But that’s alright, each day’s a bit different.” At this point, I’ve been awake for maybe 20 minutes and have had only a few sips of my morning coffee.

(Maybe if I were a man with oversized pockets.) Or own an Apple Watch?

(Maybe if I made more money.)Next, when I click into “Customize my coach,” I’m only given the option to switch to metric units, alter Lark’s chat speed, and alert the app that I’d like to lose weight.

I toggle about some more, my breathing increasing its pace some.

Here I am, inside a chat app, with no agency to ask the most basic questions about how the product works. When I visit the company’s website, I click on the Contact Us button, which takes me to a form to fill out if I’m looking for an enterprise demo. I tell my boyfriend and he says I’m assigning too much tone to Lark’s messages and that I should give it a chance to be helpful.

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As for the current online dating options—they strike me as a good first crack at this by humanity, but the kind of thing we’ll significantly improve on to the point where the way it was done in 2014 will seem highly outdated in not too many years.

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